I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Me. At least after what I've been through.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
