im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
