i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
