i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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