YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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