So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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