I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
