i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Randomize
