would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
