I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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