the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
