Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
