i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
