There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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