Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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