You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
