OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
