i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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