i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
sex in a hospital.. check
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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