haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
