You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
