im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
