Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
