Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
