I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
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i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
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I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize