I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
