We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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