Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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