Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
