He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
