We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
