fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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