My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
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