girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
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What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
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Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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