just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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