You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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