Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
