I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
