Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
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I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
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I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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