I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
