If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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