and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
