So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
