she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
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