I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
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she told me i tasted like america
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
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A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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