I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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