a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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