Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize