Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
