I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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