so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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