Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
