just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
