By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Randomize
