I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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