you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
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It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
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She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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