This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
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I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
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No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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