this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
it was like having sex with a tree stump
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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