you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
