you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
